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I was in my PJ's already. If you had said something like 'I'm leaving for school on Sunday, let's go for a walk', I would have taken out my curlers and gotten dressed again. That's not what you said though. You said you needed some exercise, and we should go for a walk." I couldn't just come out and say that I missed you, and that I wanted to go for a walk, so we could be alone together in the dark, and make out." Why not? If you had said that, I'd have gotten dressed. I'm not sure what my parents would have said about it, but I'd have been willing to ask them if I could go out. I'm coming over to see you right now, that's why I called you." Now?" Yes now. If you're going to be leaving in a couple of hours, when did you think I meant?" I just wanted to be sure you meant now. How are you coming?" I'm walking. How soon before you're finished with packing?"Not long. Mostly, I just wanted to be sure I didn't forget anything I'll need this first week. I'm coming home Friday, right after. Her thoughts were that if she wanted to keep me around, she had to keep me pleased and sated.She wanted to make me a permanent fixture in her life and tie me down to her. My refusal of her money for shopping or her offering to buy me real expensive gifts just made her more desperate, thinking I was already looking up some younger girl to be mine. I heard her whispering one night if it was actually a racial problem, with her being a rich white woman. I had to laugh to myself at that.That wasn't the case really. I was just brought up knowing that it was the man who was supposed to provide for their woman and even though I wasn't bothered about her being richer and more successful than me in the relationship, it just wasn't in my nature to accept money freely."Listen Laura. You don't have to give me money or gifts to keep me round. If you want me around, I'll be around. When you want me gone, I'll leave. Enough said." I had told her once.It didn't reassure her one bit. She didn't want.
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